Life Without You Is Not Worth Living
by Jily Forevermore
Summary: A look in the lives of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. How they met, how they fell in love and how it ended. Starts somewhere in between the end of GoF and the beginning of OotP. Will contain spoilers for Deathly Hallows. Rating may go up with later chapters. RLNT


**A/N:**** For MapleleafCameo, here's to hoping the rest of your week is less crappy**

**Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling so I do not own any characters, events or lines taken from _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_**

If you had never met them, you might think that Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks made an odd couple. You would be right of course; it wasn't every day you saw a werewolf and a Metamorphmagus married. But you would be wrong if you thought that because of this that they didn't love each other. On the contrary, they loved each other very much. It was because he loved her that he ran away and tried to go on adventures with his best friend's son. It was because he loved her that he tried to run away; afraid that their child would carry his condition. And it was because she loved him that she ignored his request to stay at her mothers with their son because she knew that if anything were to happen to him, she wanted to be there, because she couldn't live without him.

* * *

She first saw him at an order meeting, laughing with Sirius Black. She was shy, a trait you wouldn't usually associate with Tonks, as she preferred to be called. But between the fact that she thought him handsome, and her cousin who she hadn't seen in years, she was content to sit and watch him from a distance.

She didn't know it, but the man that she was covertly watching was also watching her out of the corner of his eye. He had never seen a Metamorphmagus, and he was enjoying watching her change her hair for the amusement of others while Mad-Eye Moody rolled his eye.

"Don't tell me Remus Lupin is actually _interested_ in someone for once?"

"What?" Remus jerked his eyes away from the young witch whose hair was now green and wavy, to look at the smirking face of his best friend, Sirius Black.

"No," coughed Remus. "I just have never seen one before. A Metamorphmagus, I mean."

"Sure," said Sirius skeptically. "Well, if you change your mind, be careful with my cousin or Andy will have your head."

"Sirius I'm not interested, really," said Remus.

_Crap, _he thought. _How could I forget that she was related to Sirius? I knew Andromeda had married a guy named Tonks and that they had a daughter who could do that. Stupid, that's what you are._

"Attention everyone, attention," said the calm, but commanding, voice of Dumbledore. "Now, a few things before we get started…"

But Remus was only half listening. The other half of him was still thinking about Tonks.

"Everyone understands what they're to be doing? Then you may leave," Dumbledore finished.

"What?" asked Remus.

"Come on lover-boy, we have work to do." Sirius laughed as he led his bemused friend away.

oo00O00oo

Tonks watched the two men walk away, Remus being pulled along by a laughing Sirius. She wished she had gone up and introduced herself. It had almost seemed as if Lupin were watching her, but she assumed it was just her imagination.

"Come on you, what are you still doing standing around?" The grizzled voice of her mentor, Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody behind her would've made her jump, if she hadn't been so used to his tricks.

"Waiting for you Mad-Eye," she grinned mischievously. "Wouldn't want you to fall and lose your other leg."

"Hmph," growled Moody, "I don't need your help girl, get going."

"Yes sir, right away sir," saluted Tonks. Moody failed to recognize the sarcasm in the gesture, but she caught Dumbledore smiling and winked at him as she left.

oo00O00oo

When the time came to retrieve Harry from number 4 Privet Drive, both Tonks and Lupin signed up. They each had their own reasons for going, but both were secretly glad when they heard that the other was coming.

The plan went smoothly and soon they were touching down outside of number 12, Grimmauld Place. Tonks smiled as Harry read the piece of parchment and then was able to see the house. She remembered the awe the first time she had seen it appear.

She and Lupin grabbed Harry's trunk and brought it inside quietly. Tonks was happy that she hadn't knocked anything over when carrying it inside. They milled around in the hallway for a bit, and when Molly Weasley came up and greeted Harry before telling the others that the meeting had started, Tonks followed Kingsley downstairs.

The meeting was tense. Snape was telling them that Voldemort had sent Macnair and a few other cronies to parley with the giants. Unfortunately, they didn't know if Hagrid and Madame Maxime had had any luck. A few others made their reports, but nothing else had really changed since the last meeting. Most of the Order left, still talking about the giants. Molly, Lupin and Tonks locked up, as they were some of the few that stayed for supper. Tonks was following Lupin towards the kitchen when it happened.

_CRASH!_

"I'm sorry!" wailed Tonks. She hated that stupid trolls leg umbrella stand. It was ugly and she kept tripping over it.

After they got everything sorted and went down to dinner, Tonks couldn't help but glance over at Lupin every once in a while. She didn't know what she was expecting, maybe for him to make fun of her clumsiness, but he showed no signs of it on his face. She kept herself occupied by entertaining Hermione and Ginny by changing her appearance.

oo00O00oo

Remus chatted with Arthur and Bill about goblins, but he was still thinking about Tonks and the way she had tripped. He felt like he should have helped her up or said something but it didn't matter now.

"I think it depends what they're offered," said Remus. He was glad now of having gone to school with James and Sirius, it enabled him to pay attention to multiple things at once. Part of him was engaged in the conversation and the rest of him was stealing glances at Tonks when she wasn't looking. The three of them continued with their conversation, trying to still be heard by each other over the raucous laughter from the middle of the table.

After supper, just as most of them were thinking about their beds, Sirius spoke to Harry.

"You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."

Remus tensed, warily putting down the goblet of wine he was about to take a sip from. He knew Sirius was tired of being shut up in his old house, but Remus feared he was treading on thin ice.

"I don't intend to tell him more than he _needs to know_, Molly, but as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back he has more right than most to - " Sirius was cut off by Molly's retort.

Remus kept his eyes on Sirius, ready to intervene should something happen. Privately he agreed with Sirius though. He felt that Harry shouldn't be kept totally in the dark, but Molly was right in that they should be careful how much information to give away.

Remus voiced his thoughts, carefully phrased so to not give away what he knew about the listening in that was going on by the Weasley children and Hermione.

When it looked like things were going to get ugly, he intervened.

"Molly, you're not the only person at this table who cares about Harry. Sirius sit _down_."

After Ginny was sent to bed, the questioning began. Harry had a lot of questions, and they all tried to do their best in answering him without giving too much away. When talk turned to the weapon, Sirius and Remus exchanged a look before carefully answering. And when Molly came to tell the children to go to bed, there were no objections from the adults present.

oo00O00oo

Even though she could see Molly's point of view, Tonks agreed with Sirius and Lupin. She felt as though Harry had a right to know some of what was going on. When Tonks had first been told some of the things he had done, she had paled. Facing Voldemort four times; taking on a Basilisk, at least a hundred Dementors, a fully grown Hungarian Horntail, merpeople and whatever was in the maze last year; standing up to Fudge. It was more than she had done since becoming a fully fledged Auror, and she couldn't imagine facing any of that while she was still in school.

She had already graduated by the time Lupin taught at Hogwarts, but she could see why people had praised him as one of the best DADA teachers Hogwarts had seen in a while. The way he answered questions and talked to Harry as if he was an adult instead of treating him as a child, well, Tonks could see why he was popular. He also had a kind of self-deprecating humour that she liked. For the most part she listened, but every so often she would put her two cents in.

Tonks thought about talking to Lupin after the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione had gone to bed, but he was talking to Sirius. It could wait. She had the rest of the summer to try to talk to him, as well as any other time they met during Order business. She could wait.

oo00O00oo

The party for Ron and Hermione seemed like the perfect time to talk to Lupin. However, every time she was free to talk, he wasn't, and she didn't want to intrude on his conversations. Just when it looked like neither of them were engaged in conversation, Mad-Eye went over to Lupin and Sirius and spoke quietly to them. Lupin was the first to rush upstairs, followed by Sirius and Mad-Eye. She didn't know why they had gone upstairs, and soon she was roped into a conversation with Ginny about what it took to be an Auror.

The next morning Tonks met Molly, Harry, and Sirius in Snuffles form. Their trip to King's Cross was uneventful, aside from Sirius chasing some pigeons for Harry's entertainment.

After everyone was safely aboard the Hogwarts Express, they went their separate ways. Some, like Tonks, Lupin and Arthur went into work, while Molly and Sirius went back to number 12. Mad-Eye went wherever it was that he spent his days.

Before she and Arthur apparated to the Ministry, she finally got a word with Lupin.

"So Lupin," she asked, rocking on the balls of her feet, "do you think Harry will have an interesting year?"

"Oh, I don't doubt it," he replied with a smile. "I just wonder if Umbridge can handle all the 'interesting' that is bound to happen with that lot. And please, call me Remus."

"Alright," she said with a grin. "Remus."

She knew it would be an interesting year for all of them.


End file.
